Thursday, March 08, 2007

Short Story

"…but I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here…"

It was past two in the morning. He lay there on his bed in the dark between sleep and wakefulness. He’s waiting for that call; the call that will most certainly come especially after the lengthy explanation lil bro had given him about how sayang is afraid to sleep by herself. Lil bro is worried for her. He was worried for both lil bro and sayang.

He’s agreed to come with them to this resort not only to show them around but also to chaperone. Right now he’s in one heck of a dilemma. He’s already let them get away with more than what he knows is proper but to let lil bro stay with sayang while she slept is more than he dares to allow.

The call came soon enough. He heard lil bro stir in the other bed, answering the call almost immediately because he too had been expecting it. He could hear lil bro lovingly reason with sayang to try and go to sleep though deep inside he knows lil bro will eventually give in and go to be by her side.

And suddenly, he felt an overwhelming sense of not belonging to the whole situation. He had to get out of the room. It didn’t really matter where to. He just wanted out, to get away right there and then under the cover of darkness, but unfortunately, he also figured that wherever he goes, he’d definitely need to come back to the room when his ass freezes over. So he reluctantly switched on his reading light in order to grab his room card key.

He could sense the surprise from lil bro at this sudden development but ignored it and rushed out of the room. He forgets to hold the door when it closes which resulted in a bang so noisy due to the quietness of the hour, but he refused to care about that as he walked as fast as he can towards where he remembered there was a door leading to the gardens. He’s wearing only a cotton shirt and sarong so it was going to be cuttingly cold out there but right now he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about that. In fact it could be just the distraction he needs.

But the damned exit was frigging locked at this time of night, probably for security reasons. Denied a destination, he had no choice but to head further down the corridor. All he could find was a dead end and a door opening to the fire exit staircase. He chose the latter to have a time out. He didn’t stay long. He figured that he’d been away long enough for lil bro to go to sayang. He just didn’t want to be there when it happens though he knows it’s a cowardly act considering the huge responsibility he’d accepted.

Once he calmed down a bit, he walked back to the room fully expecting to find it empty. But lil bro was still there in his bed and apparently waiting for him with concern. He had to assure lil bro that he was okay before lil bro would explain that he needed to accompany sayang next door. Lil bro assured him that he’ll take care how he goes about it and leave the door open. Lil bro told him that he’ll come back once he manages to get sayang to sleep. Since there wasn’t anything he could do to help lil bro with regards to sayang and because he realized that it wasn’t his place to do so, he offered to wait up until lil bro came back. It was all he could think of to do.

So he waited, and eventually lil bro did return as promised, chatting happily with relief now that he’d manage to coax sayang to sleep. And still he waited a while more after that in the dark until he hears lil bro’s breathing deepen into the rhythm of slumber. He hasn’t done a very good job as chaperone but since everything ended on a good note, he’s willing to leave well enough alone. After feeling quite sure that both lil bro and sayang would at least get some amount of rest, he let the relief steal over him and falls into a deep sleep.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Siapa gerangan dikau wahai [Agung]
Yang singgah di kelopak ingatanku bagai sang rerama?
Menemani kesepian
Menyuntik semangat
Sepenuh penghargaan kuberi
Moga Allah merahmati usahamu
Dan moga dikau sudi
Untuk terus berkunjung ke rantau sepi ini

Friday, March 02, 2007

Terus berjalan menyusuri hidup...

Kini dia masih berada di sisiku. Ku mohon kepadaNya agar dapat terus begini. Namun andai ketentuanNya adalah sebaliknya, aku pasrah. Cuma ku mohon dikurniakan kesabaran dan kekuatan untuk meniti hari-hari sepi sebagaimana yang ku lalui sebelum ini…

Seandainya kau ada di sini denganku
Mungkin ku tak sendiri
Bayanganmu yang selalu menemaniku
Hiasi malam sepiku
Ku ingin bersama dirimu
Ku tak akan pernah berpaling darimu
Walau kini kau jauh dariku
Kau selalu ku nanti
Kerna ku sayang kamu