Thursday, October 28, 2004

All dressed up and nowhere to go…

After learning to Breathe, I find myself with all this Energy without much idea on how to manipulate it. And when I do use it, I have no idea if I am doing anything with it at all and the effectiveness lies totally on faith.

Of course one can always call and confirm with an Adept, but when voiced out, the questions sound idiotic while the issues seem petty. Ustaz and Encik Usop are busy people so I feel very very guilty whenever I have to intrude on their already hectic life. Therefore, I try to bother them as little as possible but for my own learning experience, it is highly disadvantageous.

Cik Easy has been around Ustaz for almost two years now so he already knows what he’s about and all he needs from Ustaz is (hmm, how shall I phrase it?) a ‘license to kill’, or something to that effect. : P

Faisol and Cik Easy are rather tight, so they benefit from all that exercise and sparring with each other. While Abang Ipen, though lacking in confidence, actually surpass all three of us in terms of knowledge and experience.

I very much want to be an Auratsukai Adept but I feel like I’m left hanging. Unlike Cik Easy, I’m not one to go out and adventurously grab any learning opportunity I can get. I’m much more reserved and need more guidance. Sigh… all that energy but lacking much knowledge as well as experience to manipulate it. It’s like I’m all dressed up but having nowhere to go…

Be careful what you wish…

because it might just come true,” Ever heard of that saying?

Well, I have very strong reason to believe in it now. Remember my ranting, around 2 or 3 blog postings ago, the one about Raya? It seems I’m getting my wish this year, though not in the manner I’d hope for.

Earlier on, Boss had decided to send me to a meeting in Adelaide, but the date wasn’t fixed yet at that time. Now a gaggle of bright ‘mat salleh’s had grouped together and decided that,

Oh, in November, I guess any Monday and Tuesday would do for this meeting. Let’s make it on the 15th and 16th shall we?”

They’d managed to miss the fact that those dates will be the 2nd and 3rd days of Aidilfitri (which of course, unless they’re Muslims, isn’t of any significance to them in the first place)! What’s the big fuss then, you ask? I can still celebrate Raya morning and fly off to Australia in the afternoon, right? Wrong!!!

This Raya happens to be a long weekend and unfortunately, there are quite a number of people who had decided to go to Adelaide for a holiday or for whatever reason that particular weekend. Therefore the only direct flights to Adelaide available are on the day before Raya!

My flight, ladies and gentlemen, will be at 2130 hours on the 14th of November. Do you realize what that means? It means that I won’t be able to buka puasa with my family on the last day of Ramadhan because I have to be at KLIA 3 hours before the flight! Not to mention that I’ll be celebrating Raya all on my lonesome in Adelaide!!!!

But as the Japanese would say,

Shigata ga nai!”

So please, please remember, dear readers, that when next you have some thoughts about something, be very careful what you wish… Ja ne!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

When the veil between the living and the dead grows thin...

This Ramadhan, I find it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on my fasting. There are always things that grab my attention and make me forget what I should be concentrating on. I knew it has something to do with my biorhythm picking up its pace but I didn’t realize why.

It was only until one fine evening, when a preview of Exorcist: The Beginning came on at 8TV, that I realized that Samhain was approaching. You don’t know what Samhain (pronounced SOW-wen or sah-VEEN) is? It’s also known as All Hallows Eve, otherwise more popularly known as Halloween. Get it?

I’ve always been a bit crazy… okay, scratch that- a LOT crazy during this period. Maybe it’s just all that natural energy spiking all around me, I don’t know. But until I learn to control my own energies better, I have to be more careful.

To my special study group (but I think only Cik Easy ever reads my ravings and rantings here): Do take care! It’s a 'jungle' out there!!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

When the new moon rises...

Ah… Ramadhan is here once more. I truly look forward to it. There is a certain mysticism, a peacefulness that exists only during that time of the year.

However, I also dread it. Why? Because Ramadhan also signals the coming of Syawal. I have never understood (nor will ever understand probably) how such a calm and peaceful month can end in such hectic activity. And it is all due to the coming of the first of Syawal.

I don’t know… All the preparation drives me crazy!!! Call me a nut if you will but I truly long for a peaceful ‘Aidilfitri, just me and my immediate family. Or maybe it’s just me (as some would undoubtedly whisper behind my back),

Biasak laa… Mamat yang kera sumbang tahap cipan memang gitu!”

My aversion to the Raya season even extends to my choice of food. If there is a choice, my relatives would never catch me eating ketupat or lemang with rendang or some such condiments at their table when my family goes visiting. I’d offer a thankful prayer to Allah if ever a relative brings out rice and normal everyday type lauk to welcome us during Raya season.

Raya biscuits, however, I’d have to have a taste, since they’re becoming even weirder and more assorted by the year, just to find out what the fuss is all about.

Hah! Ramadhan’s hardly here and I’m talking about Raya! Ahaks! It makes me think of the incident where certain shopping complexes were all decked out for Christmas even though Raya is still a couple of weeks away and Christmas is still far from sight.

But I guess it’s because this blog is where I air out my grievances. Since Ramadhan makes me calm and happy and does not give me any grief, there is no need for me to rant and rail against it.

Have a successful Ramadhan dear Muslim brothers!

Sunday, October 10, 2004



I haven't the faintest idea if you're still checking out my blog or not. But if you still do, please get in touch with me before i go to the newspapers and declare you dead!

I don't care about protocol any more, you can pass me your office number. Heck! You can even pass me Abang Li's number if it meant that I will be able to keep in touch with you! Call me bro!

Down, down the river of life...

I’m sure every one of you has had their share of ups and downs. It is the very rhythm of our lives.

"Kabi kushi kabi gham,"

I’ve noticed that I experience a rather lengthy period of feeling down from time to time, ranging from a year to at least 4 months and most commonly at the end of a year. This is one of those times. The cycle is indeterminate with the shortest being a year apart. Most of my acquaintances nowadays won’t be able to tell the difference or even care. Those who can tell, now have their own lives and worries to think about.

The first of my major down periods began when I was in Form 1. Part of what I was experiencing was the feeling of being so worthless, uncared for and unloved. I stayed up late into the night. Some of my dorm mates thought I was crazy. It lasted the whole year but I eventually managed to shake it off.

The next happened after SRP (yes, it was still called SRP back then, and yes, I am that old!). The one after that is during SPM itself. That was quite a bad one. Not only had my hostel mates thought that I was crazy, I thought that I was crazy too and had even considered that suicide might, mind you, just might be the best solution for it. Then the following one happened at the end of my two years matriculation. You see the pattern? It was happening a year apart back then and each was horrible in its own unique way.

But the worst happened at the end of the second year of doing my degree. I could hardly think back then. All I did and all the decisions I made had the wrong effect and consequences. Everything that I touched turned to ‘shit’. I lost four of my best friends that year. I even managed to get everyone in my social group seriously angry with me. They even made the decision to oust me out of the group because I had turned into a solo player. Come to think of it, it’s kind of like Survivor in a way. My name got written down one time too many and Jeff Probst finally got to extinguish my torch.

I got better after that. The major down periods thankfully came further apart. My last one before this current one was during my industrial training year. That happened after a two year rest period and so does this current one.

Hopefully, farther on in life, I’ll be able to hack down these major down periods into smaller more manageable pieces. But until then, I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hope that I won’t be doing anything too crazy or unmentionable in the near future. This is Ri, signing off for now. Have a great week!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

You aren't getting cold feet, are you?

Have you ever tried any form of ice therapy? No? Then, if your heart is hale and (ehem, no pun intended) hearty, go give it a try!

As mentioned above, those with any form of heart conditions please try something else because these sessions do give you the shock of your life! And we’re only talking about dipping your feet, just your feet, in ice water!

My friends and I tried it out last night. The first 2 minutes were hell! It may be cold water your feet’s in but it felt like they’re burning! However, if you do manage to stick with it for the required 15 minutes, you’ll experience a most comfortable feeling afterwards. I had the best night’s sleep ever yesterday!

But as in most cases, our experience may differ from yours. I dare you to try it! And It’s up to you to rate it! Have fun!