Wednesday, June 01, 2005

If wishes came true...

There were a lot of things that I used to do’a for. It is, after all, in the nature of humans to always crave for something they don’t have in the belief that it will make their lives better.

After a period of time, I gradually left out a lot of things from my do’a. I think I simply got tired of asking for things that never seem to come true, which is a very unMuslim-like attitude (tak redha langsung, teruk betul kalau difikirkan zaman muda-muda dulu kan?).

But it is also because, somewhere along the way, I’ve learned to accept the cards that life had dealt me. I’ve learned to put in more effort to get the things I wanted. Even when I fail to obtain them, I’ve learned to be satisfied with what I have.

I guess this attitude of berserah got me some pity from the Almighty because a number of my previous do’as are being answered one after another during this period of my life.

Apai and Imam were to me like the big brothers that I’ve never had. Separated by some circumstances or other, they’ve magically reentered my life and our relationship now is as if they have always been with me all this while. I’ve also met Ustaz who’s agreed to teach me knowledge that I’ve barely brushed against but want to be a part of ever since I was a kid. And that’s only a few among many examples.

My faith is strengthened but, at the same time, it is a frightening prospect. Who knows if there were any stupid wishes I’d made before that Allah now deems fit to grant just to teach me a lesson for being so petty?

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