Echoing the Snuze

My dear friend, the Snuze, posted a comment that was most apt in my previous entry.

I do agree with her, but I also disagree. Becoming a changed and better person after paying a visit to the Holy Lands is true...
But only for a select few.

I have seen it with my own eyes. These lucky people, they're still themselves, but at the same time they're much better and more besides.
Do you get what I mean?
No?
Then all I can say is that seeing is believing, and I certainly have seen.

Unfortunately, I am not one of the chosen ones.

If I said that the story of Les Miserables did more to affirm my faith in Allah than any other formal 'ibaadah- would you understand me? Or would you condemn me as an apostate?

But I did. After the show, it was raining heavily as I travelled all the way back from Bandar Utama to Kelana Jaya and I was raining and booming along with the lightning and thunder.

For myself
For my family
For those I often hold more dear to heart than family

I prayed and I cried.
I couldn't differentiate between the raindrops splashing against my helmet's visor and the tears gushing from my eyes.
I couldn't differentiate between the sound of thunder and the prayers being wrenched out of lips from my soul.

Please...
I'm so weak
Please...
Take care of them for me
because I can barely take care of myself
Please...
Deny us the fate of our beloved Prophet's sollAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam beloved Uncle
Please...
We know it is completely in your Power
our ultimate fate
But, please...
pity us our weaknesses
And look down on us with Rahiim
Please...

Our Minder, our Caretaker

Please, please... bestow upon us in this world

all the goodness there ever was

as well as in the hereafter

all the goodness there ever was

and deliver us from the Fires

Reflections

This is one of those entries where the pictures bear absolutely no relation to the story so put away your genetic test kits for some other worthy purpose and enjoy the ride.

Those who enjoy my photos can take a gander at the rather somber images.

Those who enjoy my stories can read up and feel as if they now have a hang of the real me. Haha.

Those who enjoy neither- what the heck are you doing here?!!

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I tried. When will my reflection show who I am inside?

That song, the original sung by Lea Salonga in the flick, and the lyrics were my absolute favourite of all time. It hit me right between the eyes. I keep coming back to it each time I feel kind of lost and each time found it to be true.

It's true what Pakcik Salleh told me: When you go there, you are stripped of everything- you face only yourself. I've faced my own self. Thankfully, I found that it may be redeemable insyaAllah.

But it's also true what Abang Haji told me: When you return home, it's so easy to lose yourself. It's so easy to slip back into your shell where that redeemable self may be forever lost.

I find myself, currently, literally back where I started. Perhaps even worse! It's damn frustrating but at the same time I know that this is me, it's part of me- my nature and I am the only one who can modify it.

I'm disgusted with myself. Where have my promises to Budak Baik gone to now? To stop thinking with my heart? To weigh every word and action before putting them right out there for everyone to see and judge?

Kitaran lengkap satu gerak tari biasanya terdiri daripada 8 detik: 1, 2, 3, 4... 5, 6, 7, 8. Tapi gerak tariku kini- 1 dan 2 dan 3... Ada lebihan gerakan setengah detik pada sebahagian daripada tubuhku, terutamanya di bahagian tengah!

Ya, tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, aku kini secara rasminya sudah gemuk! Malah ramai kenalan yang terkejut lantas menegur tanpa berhemah, "Eh! Kau dah gemuk!!!"

Daripada itu, aku akan memulakan 'diet mengabaikan nasi' esok hari! Ini satu cabaran yang amat hebat (bagi aku) kerana nasi itu di mana-mana sahaja! Ia makanan ruji penduduk Malaysia! Satu hari tak nampak nasi dalam keadaan seharian kita yang biasa ini memang sesuatu yang ajaib!

Aku diberitahu oleh beberapa pengamal yang berjaya bahawa tempoh masa yang diperlukan untuk kembali ke berat badan ideal adalah sekitar 2 hingga 3 bulan! Doakanlah kejayaan aku ya? Terima kasih!

Tempat kerja aku baru selesai menjalani audit besar. Namun rakan sekerja yang menghadiri sesi perbincangan post-mortem petang tadi menyatakan kekecewaan mereka dengan sikap pengurusan terhadap dapatan dan teguran audit. Mereka seperti memandang enteng isu-isu yang telah dibangkitkan malah perkara yang remeh-temeh turut dibincang. Arahan tindakan? Jauh sekali!

Teguran dan dapatan tersebut adalah hasil pemerhatian daripada sekumpulan auditor yang berpengetahuan mendalam lagi amat berpengalaman. Ia bertujuan menambahbaik kualiti persekitaran kerja sekaligus perkhidmatan.

Kalau beginilah gayanya... Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, melainkan keadaan mendesak, elakkanlah daripada mengunjungi kami untuk mendapatkan perkhidmatan.

There's still a long journey ahead of me, unless Allah deems otherwise. I pray that I am able to stay more or less on the path of ridha.

Oh, speaking of journeys, I so look forward to watching the unexpected one... That is, as soon as I'm done with my 24-7 duty at the end of the week! :p

'Wan'derful Saturday

Amik peluang jalan-jalan dengan Wan. Lama tul tak jumpa...

Amir loves flowers Fatin!

Mula-mula lepak Cheras Batu 10, ikut Wan buat job. Sebab Wan belum publish photo jadi sengaja crop gambar tu supaya lindung muka.

Lepas habis, nampak bebudak dok main bola dalam gerimis masa singgah berehat jap. Seronoknya jadi budak =_= but alas, you can't go back!

Kemudian ke sekitar kawasan Bandar Tun Razak. Hampir semua tiang bangunan ada mangkuk Astro. Not sure if I managed to capture the essence- ada nampak rupa macam cendawan tumbuh kat pangkal pokok tak?

Seterusnya ke Gulam Mee, Kota Damansara dengan tujuan nak tengok bola: Malaysia lawan Indonesia...

Akhirnya bukan aku tengok bola, tapi dok perhati penonton-penonton bola. Lagi exciting kot... Macam-macam perangai! Hehe! Gambar di atas ni gambar tak jadi sebenarnya tapi suka tengok expression diorang dalam ni.

Lepas tu Wan bawak gi Damansara Uptown. Siap ada pentas 'karok' yang pilihan lagu-lagu dia membuatkan kita berasa seperti sedang bersiar-siar di Indonesia.

Second last stop, rumah Wan, untuk transfer gambar yang kitorang amik kat majlis kahwin siang tadi. Wan tembak sampai seribu lebih tak muat memory card jadi pinjam kamera aku jap! Haha!

Seronok sangat dapat jalan-jalan dengan Wan lagi.

Terima kasih daun keladi

Ada rezki jalan lagi

Bole ye?

Flashy!

Upon being invited to attend a dinner event last Sunday, we took it as an opportunity to eat practice capturing night scenes.

Wanting to be safe, the camera and flash was set in aperture priority mode.

The shutter was wide open at 2.8 while ISO was limited to 800 in order to reduce graininess.

Taking photos, even semi-manually, after a long break felt rather awkward. I kept forgetting the simple rules to ensure a competent shot at the very least.

In addition to that, I rarely take photos using a flash as I find it difficult to attain that balance of exposure. I was kind of struggling with it.

I took an extreme dislike to the 'disco' light set arranged around the stage. It's rather unpredictable. For one, it becomes 'the main feature' in almost every stage photo I shot.

A scene that was perfectly lighted one moment can suddenly turn dark. The shutter speed slowed even further to compensate. This makes for really blurry pictures :(

Sometimes the lights causes really weird colour casts. It could make for a flattering photo like this one below but at other times, it spoils the scene.

Anyway, my total yield for the night was 25%- only 25% of all the photos I took and kept were acceptably decent shots! :'( This is half my usual yield, which was 50%...

But that was why I chose to challenge myself like this. Hope to learn from it, improve myself further and achieve that target of at least 75% yield per any type of session :)

Batuk dan 'moktey'

Batuk kedengaran di sana sini kebelakangan ini. Terdapat beberapa faktor yang menyumbang kepada keadaan tersebut.

Musim tengkujuh tiba lagi. Cuaca panas sejuk yang tidak menentu serta terperangkap dalam hujan dalam perjalanan ke mana-mana destinasi boleh mengakibatkan demam selsema dan batuk.

Selain itu, jamaah haji kita kini beransur-ansur pulang ke tanahair dan membawa bersama saki-baki sakit pening yang dialami berikutan perbezaan cuaca di Arab Saudi.

Sementara di rumah aku terdapat pula faktor tambahan- musim rambutan! Ya, tuan puan, dua pohon rambutan yang melata di belakang rumah sedang lebat berbuah, alhamduliLlah!

Ini gambar lama, semasa kunjungan sahabatku Juritno dan Andri ke rumah beberapa hari sebelum pulang ke Temanggung. Andri (dan 'mandor' Juritno :p) telah bermurah hati menurunkan seberapa banyak rambutan yang ada ketika itu.

Satu pokok rambutan merah, satu lagi rambutan gading. Member Kelantan aku panggil 'moktey anok koloh'. Aku puas memikir apa lah yang diorang dok sebut ni- rupanya bila translate jadi rambutan anak sekolah! Haha!
Sebab buah dia kecik-kecik comey tapi isi sangat manis dan lekang :)

Teringinkah? Sila telefon untuk confirm. Selagi ada rezki, jemputlah ke rumah dan bersedialah untuk memanjat pokok rambutan demi menikmati pengalaman serta kemanisan itu sendiri! :D

P.S. Cerita makan lagi! Haha! ;)

Reebok CrossFit

Awal September lalu (ya, ini entry yang sangat hazab backdated) ketika bersiar-siar di Paradigm Mall

kelihatan Reebok sedang mengadakan promosi kasut baru CrossFit kepada para pengunjung di situ.

Dipamerkan sini (sangat) sedikit aksi menarik yang sempat saya rakamkan semasa aktiviti promosi tersebut.

Pengunjung diminta memakai kasut CrossFit dan melakukan beberapa gerakan 'senaman' bagi menunjukkan betapa selesanya kasut tersebut dipakai dalam pelbagai situasi fizikal yang lasak.

Jika anda perhatikan, brader baju hijau ini seakan-akan menjadi tumpuan kamera saya ;p

Yang sebenarnya, dalam banyak-banyak gambar yang diambil, 3 ini sahaja yang subjeknya betul-betul in focus (iaitu brader baju hijau). Yang lain semuanya terdapat motion blur akibat slow shutter setting bagi mengambil gambar dalam keadaan low light :p

P.S. Sebab Wan komen aku asyik cerita pasal makan, jadi aku selangkan sini cerita pasal senaman. Lepas tu nanti boleh cerita pasal makan balik, hahaha!

Pelaga

Jika anda pernah menikmati hidangan berempah
seperti
nasi beriani atau sup style Melayu

pasti pernah ada pengalaman
terkena booby trap, bukan?

Sekali tergigit
mampu membantutkan enjoyment makan buat beberapa ketika!

Ya, itulah buah pelaga (cardamom)!

"Weh! Ko tergigit buah pelaga ek?"
Kadangkala jiran yang duduk sebelah kita pun boleh terbau
begitu kuatnya chemical dia

Tak terfikir pula boleh dijadikan perisa untuk biskut (klejah)!

Haih, tok Arab ni! Meh aku test sikit!

*omm nom nom nom...

Hmm... Sedap juga :p
atau
mungkin aku yang kelaparan?

HappySad

:")
Selamat pulang malam semalam dan bertemu keluarga
alhamduliLlaahi Rabbil'aalamiin

:'(
Ibu saudara meninggal dunia malam ini sedangkan baru sahaja tengahari tadi menziarahi beliau yang sedang sakit
inna liLlaahi wa inna iliahi raaji'uun

Sesungguhnya Allah itu maha menentukan segala sesuatu

P.S. Terima kasih buat semua yang singgah membaca, terutamanya yang sudi meninggalkan komen sedang aku kurang berkelapangan membalasnya

Sinaran...

Ini hari
kepalaku
menyerlahkan sinar!

*TING!

Hahaha!

Exercised

"Kengkang kengkang jalan!"

Itu salah satu leteran biasa Ma.
Unfortunately, my thighs are quite big so if I walk 'normally', they chafe!

This past month gave me the most exercise I've ever had, probably in my entire life!
At least a kilometer daily walk.
And for these past 4 days- around 5 kilometers every day!

My thighs ache, my feet hurt and are recovering from blisters.
It's almost practically boot camp for Muslims!
However, I cannot deny the sense of accomplishment felt with every passing day.

And I can't believe that it will soon be completed insyaAllah...

The jam that does not go with bread...

Think you've experienced the traffic jam to trump all traffic jams?

Then think again.

Come and experience it here during peak season- without the benefits of a car!

Eiya, zehmah!!!

Cakap tak serupa bikin...

Nyata sekali
Islam hanya akan mampu mengurus dunia
apabila Muslimin seluruhnya
mampu mengamalkan akhlak Islam
di sisi al-Haraam itu sendiri...

Pondok

Pondok Malaysia biasanya dhaif sekali

Pondok Arab pula ada star rating- hehe! :p

funduq = hotel

Before stepping out...

Moisturiser
Lip balm
Ulcer medication
Cracked heel cream
Eau de toilette

It takes about 10 minutes to properly apply all that!
Now I have some measure of what it's like to be a lady...
It really DOES take time to prep yourself up!

Ring, ring!

Pak Guard sebelah aku pun tau nak pelankan walkie-talkie dia.
Jadi minta tolong sangat-sangat, nak solat tu silent le mobile phone tu dulu...

Dialek...

miyaah = air

moyoh = ayor / ayiak

The week ends...

Majlis persandingan

Duchess Place, Ampang

Jamuan Raya Surau Al-Ikhlas

Taman Permainan Kanak-Kanak, Kawasan Kolam Air, Taman Subang

Majlis persandingan

Golden Straits Villa, Port Dickson

Tapau makan malam

Bangi Kopitiam, Port Dickson

Berehat di bilik

Apartmen Kemang Indah, Port Dickson

Bersiar-siar di pantai

Pantai Pusat Sains Marin UPM, Port Dickson

Suntuknya masa! Kamera gede direhatkan seketika. Kamera cilik kan setia menemani...

Jasa? Budi?

Apakah yang engkau maksudkan ini?

Perlukah mengingat jasa

sedangkan itulah tujuan kami melantik kamu?

Perlukah membalas budi

sedangkan itulah hak kami setelah memberi mandat kepada kamu?

Terlalu banyak iklan yang tidak perlu!

Mengaman dan memakmurkan itu sememangnya tugas mana-mana pihak yang diberi kepercayaan.

Bukannya disebabkan kamu semata-mata timbul keamanan dan kemakmuran itu.

Semua itu

Allah yang beri.

Daripada itu, jadilah pemimpin yang Allah redhai...

P.S. Ini peringatan buat sebesar-besar pemimpin negara hingga ke sekecil-kecil ketua keluarga- sebab yang satu itulah asas yang satu lagi

Meneruskan hidup... 2

Setelah menempuh segala cabaran dan dugaan, akhirnya kawanku ini berjaya juga menjejakkan kaki ke jinjang pelamin bersama insan yang memilihnya.

Kelas ko, jah! Mamat tu tetap nak ko gak kan?

Tapi ko kena ingat, Imah, cabaran dan dugaan yang sebenarnya baru sahaja nak bermula tau? Nak maintain masjid tu jauh lebih sukar daripada nak bina masjid.

Rahimah dan Hazwan

Moga sentiasa kekal bersama dalam aman damai, sihat, selamat dan sejahtera dunia akhirat...

On the streets...

Menapak dari Central Market ke Bukit Bintang, mengabadikan pemandangan di jalanan bersama Wan. Gigih bukan? :p

The entrance to an Indian temple.

The entrance to a Chinese temple.

The ever changing grafitti on the wall across the street from entrance to Central Market.

Runners training along Jalan Pudu for the next big marathon.

Symbolism- Merdeka for 55 years already. But could this be the reality?

Putting up a sign- Gotong-royong Malaysian style. But I don't think these guys are Malaysians :p

Street vendor along Jalan Imbi doing surprisingly brisk business.

The cinema was packed until midnight. Went to shoot a few arrows and knock down some pins instead.

Walk back to where we started? Not on your ever living ever loving life!

Bokeh experiment failure. Model experiment failure.

Supper at Nasi Lemak Famous stall though we didn't order nasi lemak.