Friday, December 16, 2005

Cycle of the Emotion

When I have to force myself to do my favourite things, I know that ‘that time’ has come again.

It is the time when I need to raise my interest simply to read an interesting story book or muster the energy just to watch my favourite anime. It is the time when I have all these plans in mind but just can’t seem to get around to executing them.

But it is also surprisingly the time when I listen to the most number of songs, thinking of the connection each melody has to a particular event in my life. Just listening and singing along, feeling way down.

If possible, I’d love to just take a really long leave and sleep these coming days away. But I know that that is not possible because I don’t have 3 months plus worth of leave. So I trudge on with my life hoping for the day when this mood shall lift and pass.

I really hope it would be soon. I’m not sure how much longer I can endure these cycles of really deep depressions that have been plaguing me all my life. I fervently pray that I will be prevented from doing anything humongously stupid that may further affect my battered soul.

1 comment:

Suzainur said...

Churchill called it "his black dog". I just hope that the next time it hits you, you keep the strength to keep going. If you wanted to bug someone about it, you can always ring me.