When I have to force myself to do my favourite things, I know that ‘that time’ has come again.
It is the time when I need to raise my interest simply to read an interesting story book or muster the energy just to watch my favourite anime. It is the time when I have all these plans in mind but just can’t seem to get around to executing them.
But it is also surprisingly the time when I listen to the most number of songs, thinking of the connection each melody has to a particular event in my life. Just listening and singing along, feeling way down.
If possible, I’d love to just take a really long leave and sleep these coming days away. But I know that that is not possible because I don’t have 3 months plus worth of leave. So I trudge on with my life hoping for the day when this mood shall lift and pass.
I really hope it would be soon. I’m not sure how much longer I can endure these cycles of really deep depressions that have been plaguing me all my life. I fervently pray that I will be prevented from doing anything humongously stupid that may further affect my battered soul.