Tuesday, February 20, 2007


Once again, I am staring at people who interest me.

I feel like a damned stalker. I know how uncomfortable it can be for the object of my attention but I just can’t help it.

Up to this moment, I never realized how completely I’ve relied on him to fill that empty space in my heart. And I’ve also realized how completely I had let go of him that fateful day in order to keep his friendship.

The realization hit me really hard, like a punch in the gut, as I see the wariness and suspicion in the eyes of each person I set my gaze upon.

I can’t keep on living like this but I hardly have a choice in the matter. And looking is all I can do. Everyday I pray for the strength to go on…

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